Early 2025, Louise and I got to talking about publishing a physical copy of The Ten Commitments — a book I wrote over ten years ago now. Once the major edits were done, I realised the next natural step, for both readers and myself, was The Perfect Present 8-Week Experience, another project I created under the banner of Miracles and Wonder. Back then, I coded it on the Original Kajabi, using basic HTML to get all our branding and images just right. Then at the tail end of 2015, everything changed. The Original Kajabi became New Kajabi and, eventually, with their rebrand in 2024, just plain Kajabi. It was around the same time OK transitioned to NK, that Miracles and Wonder split. I took exclusive ownership of the IP of all my work and started to rebuild my business.
Everything I had designed was out of whack on the new platform. It was clear I’d have to re-code every single line of every single paragraph, including re-posting images and videos. A lengthy process but somehow incredibly satisfying, now that I had taken it back as my own work and could relaunch myself anew. Divine Timing, however, had other ideas.
At the end of 2015, I encountered a full shutdown of my capacities and had to stop doing much of anything. I couldn’t go shopping for groceries, go for a walk or get housework done. I was mostly bedridden and taking painkillers just to cope with being out of bed. This went on for way too long. We couldn’t find a doctor who would see me or listen to me let alone treat me. So we tried to work around it but there wasn’t enough support to keep going like this. My husband couldn’t do everything while I lay in bed. He was exhausted, worried and fed up with the whole scenario. All the while, I was still inching my way through edits and working on material in my business, albeit at a snail’s pace. It felt like we were being called to change how we lived, especially the where. In 2018 we finally made the shift into the mountains and I couldn’t be happier we did.
Now, all of this might sound like a setback but that’s not the way I see it. Being called to rest, being called to a change of pace, being called to new surroundings, and not knowing how any of it would work out; that’s what I do. Every day, I wake up and look to what I’m being called to. Every day, I open to whatever’s being brought into my awareness to be experienced. Every day, I am truly here doing what I’m told to do. It’s not necessarily pretty. I’m not always happy about it. Hell, I’m not even sure what’s going on most of the time. I just follow my instructions (which is to say, I feel-do-have-say-want-dream that which is in my experience) by allowing my self to be that space where I am not the vehicle; that space before the world gets in or, better yet, where there is only the condensation of light flowing through the point called me.
The Perfect Present 8-Week Experience is part of that now process. It’s not an outcome or achievement to be attained. It’s part of an instruction in the moment, where I’m paying attention to the loudest point (no matter what that may present itself as or how that looks to the outside world). This means all why questions lead to the same point. They all have the same answer i.e., whatever is at the end of all enquiry. I’m not sure if I can put my answer into English but it’s something like: life is, or what-is is.
The answer to the question around why I’m relaunching is no exception — be/cause what-is is.
