In early 2025, Louise and I got to talking about publishing a physical copy of The Ten Commitments — a book I wrote over ten years ago now. Once the major edits were done, I realised the next natural step, for both readers and myself, was The Perfect Present 8-Week Experience, another project I created with Louise under the banner of Miracles and Wonder. Back then, I coded it on the Original Kajabi (OK), using basic HTML to get all our branding and images just right. Then, at the tail end of 2015, everything changed. The Original Kajabi(OK) became New Kajabi(NK) and, eventually, with their rebrand in 2024, just plain Kajabi. It was around the same time that OK transitioned to NK that Miracles and Wonder split. I took exclusive ownership of the IP of all my work and started to rebuild my business.
Everything I had designed was out of whack on the new platform. It was clear I’d have to re-code every single line of every single paragraph, including re-posting images and videos. A lengthy process, but somehow, incredibly satisfying now that I had taken it back as my own work and could relaunch myself anew. Divine Timing, however, had other ideas.
At the end of 2015, I encountered a full shutdown of my capacities and had to stop doing much of anything. I couldn’t go shopping for groceries, go for a walk or get housework done. I was mostly bedridden and taking painkillers just to cope with being out of bed. This went on for way too long.
We couldn’t find a doctor who would see me or listen to me, let alone treat me. So we tried to work around it, but there wasn’t enough support to keep going like this. My husband couldn’t do everything while I lay in bed. He was exhausted, worried and fed up with the whole scenario.
All the while, I was still inching my way through edits and working on material in my business, albeit at a snail’s pace. It felt like we were being called to change how we lived, especially where.
In 2018, we finally made the shift into the mountains, and I couldn’t be happier we did.
Now, all of this might sound like a setback, but that’s not the way I see it.
Being called to rest, being called to a change of pace, being called to new surroundings, and not knowing how any of it would work out; that’s what I do.
Every day, I wake up and look to what I’m being called to. Every day, I open to whatever’s being brought into my awareness to be experienced. Every day, I am truly here doing what I’m told to do. It’s not necessarily pretty. I’m not always happy about it. Hell, I’m not even sure what’s going on most of the time. I just follow my instructions (which is to say, I feel-do-have-say-want-dream that which is in my experience) by allowing my self to be that space where I am not the vehicle; that space before the world gets in or, better yet, where there is only the condensation of light flowing through the point called me.
The Perfect Present 8-Week Experience is part of that now process. It’s not an outcome or achievement to be attained. It’s part of an instruction in the moment, where I’m paying attention to the loudest point (no matter what that may present itself as or how that looks to the outside world). This means all why questions lead to the same point. They all have the same answer — whatever is at the end of all enquiry. I’m not sure if I can put my answer into English, but it’s something like: life is, or what-is is. Or, maybe, just simply – is is.
The answer to the question around ‘why I’m relaunching’, is no exception … be/cause what-is is.
I don’t control the appearance of things to come. I don’t choose what happens. Once the moment is in play, all I can do is be me. Simply be. Be here now. Be what I am, as I am, where I am, right now. That’s it!
When I think about all the steps involved in getting to the point where I’m re-launching the Perfect Present, I don’t think on concrete decisions that I have had control over. I don’t think about immoveable objects in my path, or even about the Grace of divine assistance and guidance. All I know is that I don’t know anything at all.
Everything appears as it does for a reason – ‘a reason’ that’s probably way beyond my years – and that’s enough for me. I can work with that.
I can make products online. I can get books published and do all kinds of magic here on Earth (as it appears), and that’s all I need.
Being able to explain it to you here reading, or to anybody, in a way that’s particular to the material world versus the spiritual, isn’t my job, and I have no interest in it whatsoever. I’d rather be watering the garden or watching dragonflies eat bugs out of the air, feeding my cat or nearby my husband. I’d rather be downloading images to decorate my books and content. I’d rather be feeling the breeze and eating with my hands outside beneath the open sky. Any number of things other than explaining, or trying to, what it is that led me to this point as a function of what I hope to achieve from it.
