I feel suicidal. I allow. I acknowledge. I surrender. This may sound dangerous, as if I might cede to the impulse. But allowing is not separate-self-centric. Allowing is about the I Am experience.

Harmonie Mandala

You may have read my series of articles this year and assumed I find oneness “solutions” to my “problems”. But in oneness there are no problems to solve, no adjustments to make, no goals to reach. In oneness, experience is a conversation.

In oneness I feel panic, not in reaction to anything that appears to be happening, but instead as a wave of emotive sensations. Because I do not have problems to solve, in panic all I have is my I Am experience.

I realise this version of what’s going on sounds alien…

…until you remember that we all feel life’s richness and turn to our I Am experience. We tell the story differently. For example, you may use the words problem-solution, but none-the-less you are experiencing the I Am.

Consider how you discover feelings in the first place. How you explore them with explanations of what might be going wrong, of who might be to blame, of what you need to do to change them? And then how you seek out something greater than your “self” for solace. A doctor, a prayer, a friendly sensation, a Google search.

These simple things we do everyday to make a difference in our experience of the world, these too can be understood as the I Am experience. We may not call it allowing, we may call it facing our fears or overcoming obstacles, but in the end there is nothing we do that exists beyond oneness. We are all equal and essential aspects of the divine.

We are all living masters. Already awake, interconnected and on purpose.  Whether we accept this truth philosophically or not, the divine is our everyday reality. It is everyone and everything we encounter. And it is enough to do what’s in front of us with the knowledge and wisdom we have.

That means it’s okay to forget, it’s okay to experience doubt. Perhaps the divine wishes to feel the full rainbow when allowing this moment. There is no real way of knowing “why” we have this feeling or that encounter. It is simply of divine awareness to allow our now experience. And you are the divine! It doesn’t live within you or come to you in secret to keep you focused on a dedicated path. It is the very matter, forces, perceptions, and experiences themselves. The divine is your anger as much as your compassion. There is no way to separate the loss and the joys of love. They are inextricably interconnected, for without a full spectrum there would be no oneness.

Whatever happens remember you are the I Am experience, all accessories included.

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