Guidance. Trust. What does it take to come back to who I Am as empowered?
There are many questions to come back to around trusting yourself, your guidance and the way you show up as perfect.
What keeps me focused on my essence rather than who I am in contrast to the beliefs I have or the stories I tell about what’s happening?
How do I remember my wholeness and forget who I am in contrast to the way other people interpret me?
Where do I love who I am unconditionally instead of worrying about the way people treat me in contrast to how they treat everyone else?
What would this moment be about if it wasn’t a story about the way other people are trying to distract me and why?
When am I allowed to feel including the ways I can’t/don’t trust people with who I am and why?
What are we really asking for?
“Which voice do I listen to?” and “which voice do I express out loud?” are not questions of skill and being able to discern between the good voice and the bad voice. It’s about trust. What are you focused on when you hear that voice? How is it geared? In other words, what is it’s job?
For example, does it pipe up to protect you from false accusations? Does it empower people? Does it make you open and vulnerable? Does it ask you to surrender, again?
There is something in what that voice asks of you.
Something to be considered in the moment. Especially that part, that deciding factor between ‘speak’ or ‘keep silent’.
Does it ask you to be brave and stand in your truth? Does it ask you to be still in a place of torment? Does it ask you to listen with a wider scope?
And if if you are not familiar with the way your voice speaks to you, before it has decided to be borne on the world, then come back to who you are. Come back to knowing thyself as holy and sacred; as both self and Infinite.
Guidance is another way to talk about knowing yourself well enough to trust who you are is perfect.
It’s about a leap of faith in the alchemy of our essence and our purpose-destiny-fate. It is the story of what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immoveable object. The unstoppable force stops, and the immoveable object moves…
I remember my disappointment at discovering the answer proffered to this riddle. It felt like a cheap trick. I wanted so much to understand something deeply mysterious about the world, and this solution seemed to clinical-ise our magic.
As a philosopher I feel to argue with the conclusion. If a force is unstoppable, then it would not stop, therefore the initial premise is false. What then do we do with the notions of unstoppable and immoveable if they cannot exist in the same reality?
We change the laws of physics. Either that or we say that the properties do not exist at all. They are our options in a cogent universe that proposes to explain itself in terms of fixed properties. You are either male or female (or hermaphrodite).
Except that’s no longer true. Even gender is being re-storied in a way that removes the either-or flavour of reality.
So what are we if we cannot be tied to a fixed gender or personality type or profession or psychological state?
For all these lines we have drawn around who we are and what we do and why we do them, these boxes and points of separation that seek to elevate some parts but not others… none of them are fixed.
All of the measures we use to define ourselves are moving; fluid, flexible, unbounded aspects of a self that is simultaneously more than the sum of its parts AND indistinguishable from a unique wholeness.
There is a temptation to talk about layers and levels of consciousness, a temptation that the concepts of Oneness and mindfulness are beginning to make unpalatable. There is then an attempt to call in patterns echoed in nature as an explanation for balance and imbalance (without ever questioning the ontological), an attempt that is beginning to shimmer and dissolve into mirage as we uncover the secrets of innate wholeness in all things. And as a final push for order in chaos, there is an idea pinned to Mandelbrot, karma and a vibrational universe – an idea that loses steam whence our picture of the world is informed by a gentle invitation to simply be in the moment.
As all of the fixed ideas in the universe reveal themselves to be in constant motion, we can see life itself – our concept of consciousness included – as the unstoppable force.
But the totality of All That Is cannot be separated out into forces and objects. There is only the constant change of energy that merely appears as objects and dreams and critters in separation. An appearance that has little to do with the reality of life itself.
There is so much about human perception yet to be fully understood.
We know that consciousness begins in the heart, an electromagnetic brain responsible for pre-conceiving our experience. We know that the brain in our skull is plastic, and much more than we can give it credit for at this stage. And we think we know that the signals transcribed by our heart-brain feedback system are filtered by cultural biases and cognitive functions designed to reinforce our current cosmology, so how can you know that you know what you know when all of your senses are set up to translate a world of energy into a picture of something that looks like discrete objects and fixed identities?
Even cogito ergo sum (I think therefore I am) can only take you as far as the notion of thought or self-awareness, which, if conceived beyond separation, is just energy! Energy interconnected with All That Is – NOT in a web of lines connecting separate dots or as a collection of energy fields, but interconnected in a way that cannot be understood as mechanistic.
Interconnected in a way that accepts a child is nature and nurture without contradiction or judgement; in a way that explains the harmony of the planet as a moment in time rather than an evolutionary ideal; in a way that sees the excitation of a field which does not exist in a 3D way we can see under a microscope and yet there is a landscape of alchemy being made visible.
So what is the immoveable object if everything is energy?
Where does this ‘meeting’ occur when all things are already innately interconnected? I guess that’s up to you. After all, it’s your reality. You’re the one who takes responsibility for judging things as good-bad OR seeing everything as sacred. You’re the one who has to live with the story about how this moment is a ‘challenge’ or simply another sacred conversation with the cosmos.
Remember: the choice you make around how much you trust your voice to intuit the moment, and how much you trust the universe to hold you to your one obligation – to be you – is not a choice made from a blank slate.
From your first breath to your last thought, you are a continuation of energy already in motion. At no point did you ‘come in’ as a separate being with an undistorted view. And it is the distortion that makes you unique; and it is the way you understand the distortion – the way you feel about how you show up in the world – that makes a difference.
For example, if you’re on a mission of great import, and your self-work asks you to be different, better, or somehow less who you are and more what you idealise yourself to be… then this is your life! In this way, your self-work is not self-acceptance, it’s a rejection and ideal that highlights who you are as a list of flaws. And your life is a rejection of the I Am which means you can’t trust anything.
Remember: the difference you make is your experience of yourself, your experience of life as self-acceptance.
This means, a man or woman can be unconscious of their ‘impact’, live a fully present existence and still do all the things that appear to make the world a better place even though that was never their intention or focus. And on the flip side, a man or woman can spend their whole life believing they are committed to making a difference when each day is full of doubt, hatred of the system or people in opposition to their efforts, and distress around achieving the outcomes that are important to them.
When the outcomes are more important than the experience, your life is a series of battles and constant assessments of how well you are doing based on the evidence you can see. And here’s the thing!
We can’t see the whole picture.
There is more going on than our senses can transcribe, and the filters in place make it impossible for us to be objective. No matter how scientific you think you’re being in your commitment to doing the ‘right’ thing or being your ‘best’ self, there is no way around our subjective nature.
You can surround yourself with like minds and only read the books that support your way of seeing the world, but none of this reinforcement makes your truth universal.
Your truth is yours. It’s based on the configuration of energy that nature and nurture have made you; and it’s a powerful recognition of how life works for you (so don’t reject it), but it’s not an immoveable object.
For example, you say “Spirit is all powerful and I am an expression of the Divine” but then you don’t trust your voice and you make other people responsible for your feelings. Why?
Most of the explanations for this will make you faulty or unwise. I don’t think that helps. I don’t think you say one thing and act on another belief because there is something wrong with you or because you haven’t figured it out yet. I think it’s an invitation.
I think we are all motivated by the desire to feel loved. The unintentional change-maker and the committed sufferer, are both motivated by the desire to:
Feel safe. What makes us feel safe? When the world plays by rules we understand. Not rules we enjoy, but rules that help us build a 3D life out of quantum energy.
Belong. What gives us a sense of belonging? A fixed identity and relationship with others. Not a pleasant or accurate story, but one that tells us in no uncertain terms that we fit (even if we fit by playing the role of an outcast).
Have meaning. What makes life meaningful? Having a purpose we can fulfil. Not the one we work toward, but the way we know our worth.
Often these 3 things are understood as hinderances to a happy life or a healthy mind-body-spirit. For instance, the idea of a self-sabotaging belief is based on the assumption that you made a mistake or someone else was wrong. So even before you’ve started looking at what makes you the way you are, the story is founded in trying to change something because you’re a victim either of your own stupidity or someone else’s malice or neglect.
How the hell are you supposed to trust yourself when your first point of self-awareness is about being right, wrong or incomplete? I think there is another way to begin our exploration of self-awareness. It’s called Heart Alchemy.
Heart Alchemy will never make you wrong (or right) and it will always come back to who I Am as empowered. When the tribe reminds you of how who you are right now is Divine, you don’t need punishment and reward to guide you. You trust that Spirit made you who you are for a reason.
Heart Alchemy will always see you as interconnected and give you a way to ‘be with’ whatever or whomever is showing up. There are ways to see how other people are perfect for their mission and that your story about their behaviour is part of your self-awareness. By taking responsibility and finding freedom in your own reflection, your relationships exist without judgement or separation.
Heart Alchemy will not make you a calm, spiritually enlightened success story because that ideal is focused on outcomes that ask you to compare yourself to something that looks a particular way.
Heart Alchemy is about self-acceptance, presence and translating all of our experiences as a conversation with the cosmos. All of our emotions, thoughts, dreams, relationships, issues and everyday scenarios are showing up for self-awareness without judgement. You still get to feel, fornicate and follow your experience wherever it takes you. It’s just that when you’re telling the story about what’s really going on, your trust in who you are is powerful enough to hold your trust in All That Is… and that’s your immoveable object!